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Retiremints

$4.99
UPC:
814229007302
Weight:
0.40 LBS
Shipping:
Calculated at Checkout
Shipping Information

Orders usually process in 1–2 business days (may take up to 3 days during peak times). Fudge & candy items ship fresh (orders before 7:00 AM (CST) on Monday ship same day. Orders placed after that time will ship the following Monday, unless expedited). We ship via USPS or UPS — delivery times vary by destination (not guaranteed). For full details (international orders, customs, perishable items, refunds, etc.), see our full Shipping & Returns Policy. Ensure your package arrives safely during summer months. Learn more about Warm Weather Protection. Read the full policy

Materials & Care

Retiremints

Goodbye tension, hello pension! Retiremints bring a hilarious, relaxing twist to your golden years straight from the shelves of the Uranus General Store. Formulated to put that much-needed pep in your post-career step, these deliciously strong peppermints are guaranteed to keep your breath as fresh as your newly cleared schedule. After all, you have a lot of reminiscing, relaxing, and avoiding hard labor to do, so you might as well smell great while you are busy enjoying Uranus!

Toss this charming vintage-style tin into your golf bag, tackle box, or pickleball tote to ensure you are always ready for your next leisurely adventure. It is the perfect blend of refreshing flavor and cheeky novelty humor, guaranteeing that your breath stays fresh while you sit back and enjoy the good life.

  • Minty Relaxation: Super-strong peppermints designed to freshen your breath and give you a pep in your step without any of the workplace stress.

  • Classic Parody Artwork: Packaged in a collectible, reusable tin featuring a playful spin on the famous "American Gothic" painting—now featuring retirement-friendly attire and leisure gear.

  • For the Golden Years: Specifically crafted for retirees or anyone just counting down the days until they can permanently clock out.

  • The Perfect Retirement Gift: A fantastic, lighthearted novelty gift or party favor for that coworker who is finally escaping the daily grind to go fish, golf, or just hang out.

Kick off your shoes, grab your clubs, and add a tin of Retiremints from Uranus to your cart today!

 

Keep Uranus Minty Fresh with some mints!:

A novelty tin of RetireMints featuring an American Gothic parody with a golfer in a Hawaiian shirt

Reviews That’ll Make Uranus Clench

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